Clean Slate

Life is complicated. Life is simplicity. I have no doubt the complications, heartbreaks, happiness, sorrow, failures and successes we experience in life are due to our own feeble and frail human makeup. At least this is all too obvious in my case. We as adults, are what we as children were instructed to be. Our weakness as well as our strength, was in us at birth. What we do with these emotions and feelings that we were born with has a lot to do with the grownups that we had to use as role models as children. If our parents turned to violence in order to deal with whatever stress they had to deal with, and we had to watch this, or be used as the brunt of their frustrations, then we are more than likely, going to do the same things when we come of age. But even if they kept it hidden from us, we could feel their vibes. We knew. Children are like dogs in a way. They seem to sense when things are bad. I have a theory that when we are born, we are all knowing. We have the answers. Although we have not yet learned to speak or walk, we know the secrets. When we begin to learn, we do this by observation. Our eyes see what the people who are older than us do. Our ears, although not able to understand actual words, can easily decipher, from the tones of the words we hear, good and bad. Happy and sad. Angry and happy. While the cooing sounds our mother may make when lying next to us, when it is just the two of us and no one else is around, they are greatly outweighed by the negative and angry tones that may be made at other times, even if these actions are not directed toward us. Good things are natural, therefore they are easy for our young minds to take in, digest and process. In the human-animal psyche, while violence is natural as well, it is much more difficult for us, especially as babies, to accept. It does not seem natural. It takes some getting used to, as opposed to say, sounds we may hear that are loving and caring. But once the shock of violence to our system is introduced at such an early age, it quickly, perhaps instinctively, takes precedence over the natural, calming feelings of good. This tells us that bad outweighs good, which puts our positive nature on the back burner, and forces our still forming mind to not only focus most of our attention on the negative, but to begin the process of forgetting the naturalness of our in-born positive emotions.

Short term, long term, uh...

Well, this is a trip. After all this time, I found this blog, yet again. I have never really used it very much, but am planning on bookmarking it (I know how to do that now), and visiting it, hopefully every day. After having become one hundred percent legal, as far as my medical marihuana card certification is concerned, I am allowed to possess two and a half ounces of medicinal marihuana, and be in possession of twelve marijuana plants as well. I have six right now, which are my first attempt to grow any more than one or two plants at a time. I know nothing about the process. The quality of medicinal weed is very high indeed, and can be purchased from licensed dispenseries. I even have my card! Has it's pro's and it's cons. I am definitely on yet another list, but the weed is pretty much legal, so it's cool. I'm getting too old to rebel. That was yesterday.